Connecting

While starting contemporary literature, I was excited to begin reading books that I thought I would be able to connect with. I thought that after a semester of high rolling socialites and children on quests, I would find characters that I shared a common ground with. Keeping my goal in mind, I selected Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging and Planet Janet among my texts. Both of these books center on young teens as they struggle to find themselves within modern society. They seemed to fit the criteria very well, however, the characters that are portrayed have been the hardest for me to connect with during the entirety of the class.

They are vain, with limited understanding of anything that does not directly affect them, they show little to no development, their personalities are shallow and very little redeems the character to the reader. This brings me to wonder: Is this what society thinks of my peers? While marketed to represent a majority of the teenage population, the books fail to give teens any depth (this is not to say that I have not read books that do an excellent job with this: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green to name one). If I were to base my knowledge solely on the contents of these books, I would come away with an entirely incorrect view of this demographic. 

For me, this raised many questions of truth in literature. What these books were portraying was not my truth (nor the truth of anyone I know), but a truth nonetheless. In thinking about what to say in re of this course, I found that this was the biggest lesson that I was taught. I learned that romanticized and limited views portrayed in the novels that I read are not representative of the whole of a society. It took two insipid teenage characters to remind me that characters are mere shades of what we think and how we act. They represent the best and the worst of us, and sometimes lead us to lead better lives; but they are not, and will never be us. 

Cooperation

 This unit, we were tasked with commenting on the learning plan of a partner. While there were some logistical difficulties with this in my case, I really liked this addition to the class. By having another person to bounce ideas off of and critique work, I found myself trying to create better assignments. This kind of learning has helped me address some of the problems I have had with regards to direction and focus within a unit. I also thought that it benefited me to look at another person's interpretation of a similar theme. My partner approached the text in a very different way than I do and I feel that it helped me to understand my own books in a new way.

I wish though, that I had been able to participate more in this addition to class. I think that it is a good template for the next unit. I would love to be able to collaborate with my classmates and improve my writing in a less independent way. I have always done my best work when pushed by others, so I think that this will serve as a benefit for me in the last unit.

Narratives

In this unit, I will be focusing on narrative writing for my standards as well as my full length piece. This presents unique challenges to me as the method and systems of writing narratives have never been fully taught to me. An avid reader, some of the key components of good narration have sunk in, but I find myself at a disadvantage when it comes to articulating in and building upon my work in this portion of the class.

It isn't that I do not understand how to write a narrative, the concept its self is fairly simple. I have not, however, needed to acquire any sort of mastery in this style. Not once in the past 8 years of my schooling have I had to utilize the skills and nuances of fictional or narrative writing in any context other than a college essay. I'm not about to spend this time complaining about how the school system has failed to instruct me in this writing (although I could, and with good reason). Instead, I will reflect on how this discovery has impacted my learning now.

Reviewing some research on the basic components of narrative writing, I had one of the fabled "ah-hah!" moments. It seemed as though everything I had suspected about books that I loved and hated were displayed on the page and elements of plot, character and development seemed to click the more I looked at material. It came to me just how much we learn without actually trying. While I still can't twist my words with the skill of Douglas Adams or weave plots like Tolkien, I am finding ways to better my own writing through the examples of other, far greater authors.

Beginning to understand the elements of narrative writing has truly helped me understand literature in a deep way. I am starting to understand the implications of subtle changes in tone and description and grasp the true greatness of many works that I have failed to appreciate in the past. Despite its dubious beginning, I think that this unit will really help me to advance as a student and as a reader.

Wrapping Up

The end of this unit has been surprisingly bitter sweet. While I'm excited to move forward with the class and begin looking at new time frames, I am going to miss looking at Victorian writing. I found a passion for this unit that I hadn't had for any of the other times. This is the first unit that I have felt a real connection to the characters, and have been truly invested in the books. This, I believe, had a major influence on the word I did. Developing a better understanding of the characters and background helped me to do better work.

This unit has also presented me with new challenges, and shaped the way that I view the class. As I become more comfortable with the independent style of  learning and find new ways to express what I discover with activities, I find that I am becoming a better student. This unit in particular tested my ability to stay on task. However, I was able to solve my problems without needing to take drastic measures. This has helped my to be accountable for my own work no matter how I feel about it. It has also helped me find new ways to keep myself on task. By helping me to take charge of my own learning, this unit has helped prepare me for further exploration.

Deadlines :/

Anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I procrastinate. It's not that I'm totally unwilling to put effort and time into my work, I do, I'm just horrible at spreading work out over time. I tend to work better when forced to sit down and just write. If I have three weeks to do something, I know that it will get done in the last few nights because I'll have been sitting at my computer rewriting the first sentence for the two and a half weeks, that's just how I work. So when we got this unit and had such a sprawling due date, I ended up with way too much work to do this past week. On one hand, it has been really effective in getting me to appreciate the time we get to work in class (I don't think I've ever been this productive before), but it's not great for my stress levels.

These past few weeks, it has been especially hard for me to spread out my work. Mountains of extra-curriculars and cramming for the upcoming SATs have left me with little time to do anything but play catch-up with all of my classes. It's not an excuse for the early stages of my work, but it is part of my problem.

I do far better in classes with short-term due dates, and since I have found that these  three week deadlines are not working for me, I have decided to put matters into my own hands. When I realized that I was falling behind, I decided to set my own personal checkpoints and timelines. I gave myself a goal for each day, and so far I have been able to keep up with my plans. Using my new time charts, I should even be done with my unit on time, something that I wouldn't have been able to accomplish just a few months ago.

So I may not be totally over my habit of cramming, but I think that this unit has helped me reach a better place with my time management struggles.

Romanticism

As an avid lover of 19th century literature, I had a very good idea of what I wanted to do with this unit. Using a thread of clear social commentary within many of the books, I knew what I wanted to accomplish. I did, however, encounter an unexpected difficulty. The nature of my theme requires me to strip my perception of a romanticized Victorian utopia and discover the imperfect reality of the time period. This is turning into a major challenge for me because, I have found it hard to relinquish my personal prejudices about the era.

When thinking about the characters of books like Pride and Prejudice or Vanity Fair it can be hard to look past the twirling ball gowns and see the true societal issues that drive conflict in the stories. In my mind I don't want to see Charlotte Lucas as a stereotype for 'traditional' values or economically motivated women. I simply want her to be the unlucky girl that married a very stupid man. Completing these activities make me separate my own feelings about characters and situations from their intended purposes. In this way, my activities are forcing me to view the work of the time period in a very different way.

This change, while very vexing, is helping me in my exploration of literature. It is helping me uncover some of the blaring double-standards of the time period and understand much of the hypocrisy of 19th century England. Social, political and economic changes fueled massive changes in English culture and in many ways redefined what it meant to be British.  Once I can overcome my difficulty reconciling the imperfections of my dear Victorian predecessors, I am sure that I will be able to fully complete my task of unpacking the commentary of the time to present a clear understanding of the 19th century.

A Revolution

This unit of Honor British Literature was, perhaps, one of the more eye-opening experiences I've had thus far in this course. This was the first time that I can honestly say that exploring literature in class has caused me to really question the way I view things. I consider myself to be a relatively grounded person. I have strong convictions, and I don't tend to be very surprised by most of the literature I read. However, the works I've read lately have made me start to look at things differently.

It started when I was reading chapter ten of Hobbs' Leviathan. Going into the work, I thought I had a good grasp on the concept of power. I watch the news, and am borderline politically active so I wasn't expecting to be blown away by what I found. It wasn't that anything he wrote was new information. It doesn't take much intellect to grasp how people gain and exploit power to meet their ends. What did catch me off kilter was just how much of a hold power has on our lives. The more I thought about that chapter, the more I began to see the effects of power in the world. I began to see it in everywhere. Walking down the hallways, all I could see was a web of intrigue, people vying for social positions, aching for the power to come out ahead. I know it may sound extreme, but whether people mean to or not, they are always asserting their power to be heard, to be understood, to be accepted. It occurred to me just how amazing power and influence are. That we can use our own situation to influence others is fascinating and a truly mind-boggling concept for me.

I can't explain why this had such an affect on me, but I'm glad that it did change a part of how I see the world.  I can't help but think that this exploration has led me to become just a tad more aware as a person and as a student. I can only hope that I will continue to be amazed by the power of literature.

Uncertainty

I struck me, this week, just how horrible uncertainty can be. It paralyzes you and stops almost all productive activity. You can sit and write for hours, but if you don't have a direction, all of that work amounts to nothing. You need this direction for pretty much anything you do in school, and in life. What's nice about the ISP (information search process), is that it acknowledges the fact that when you start a project, you probably have absolutely no idea where it will go. Uncertainty is the emotion linked with the first step of the process. With this, the ISP gives you hope that you will find some sort of continuity in your research.

Moving past this overwhelming sense of ambiguity is hard. It required work that many people aren't willing to put into a project.  But, when this feeling of insurmountable indecision is finally moved past, great things can happen. Overcoming uncertainty leads us to discovery. Sure, it may be a simple discovery. It may be a small snippet of information or even a slightly new way of looking at something you've seen a million times, but it is significant. It frees you do accomplish things you would never had dreamt of. There is a finite and absolute reason why uncertainty is the first step in the ISP. It's only the start of the journey...

On Succinctness

When it comes to writing, I have heard two very different theologies as to what makes a good paper. The most popular, and probably the most widely known is to simply write as much as possible. As a student, I've had my share of teachers that grade more on length than on content. Perpetuated by assignments that have a minimum page requirement but no maximum, students are taught that the volume of meaningless dribble they produce is directly proportional to their grade. I myself have gotten through eleven years of schooling without having to do much more than write a few meaningless nothings in order to wheedle my way into an 'A'. While I'm not exactly proud of my frequent utilization of this method, I can't deny its usefulness in raising a grade. In theory, the students that write a lot are the ones that put most work into the piece; and that may be true. However, if public schooling has taught me anything, It's how to drag out a simple argument to the point where it seems almost absurd.

The second theory directly contradicts the notion that length has any correlation to substance. The few teachers that emphasize this (mainly English or Writing teachers) place importance on a succinct and orderly writing style. I myself did not encounter this theology until high school. When presented with this style, students like myself balk at the immensity of the task. We have been so trained against writing for substance, that we have neglected the basics of argumentative or expository writing. Ultimately more useful and stylistically easy to understand, this method is more true to the realities of writing outside of school.

So here I am at Seventeen, trying to learn concepts of writing that should have been taught to me years ago, and shaking my head because up until now, my school system has failed to give me the perspective I need to truly succeed.

Procrastination

It's three a.m. and you still haven't written that report due in...four hours now? You say you're going to start typing, but wait! After an hour of refreshing the browser you've gotten a notification. "It's probably important" you say to yourself as you waste yet another hour ignoring that deadline with all of your might.

Let's be honest. No one actually wants to write a paper on the migratory patterns of Swallows or analyze every word of a poem twice to squeeze out every last drop of potential meaning from the piece. It's painstaking work that details information that you're most likely never going to need again. I think that this is the primary reason most kids absolutely abhor school. The sole object of most work that we do as students is (at least in High School) just meant to keep us busy. We are assigned passive learning activities that do little to challenge us and only succeed in boring us to tears. It's no wonder that we push off the work for another half hour playing Skyrim or another chapter of a good book. At least then, we reason, we're accomplishing something. We're doing something we care about.

As an avid and unabashed procrastinator, I want to get to the root of the issue. By all accounts, it's my own fault. Nobody's forcing me to put off work until I'm stressed out of my mind trying to get everything done on time. But in all fairness, I do think that our school system is a bit at fault as well. I mean, it's not the teacher's fault that geometry practically put me to sleep and I have to hold back a lengthy sigh whenever I hear words like particle physics. It's a teacher's job to pass down information, whether it is interesting to one particular student or not, and for the most part our teachers are doing an excellent job with that. What bothers me is that teachers have this vast reservoir of untapped potential. Maybe I'll never love chemistry, but the information given doesn't have to be presented in a way that makes me claw my eyes out. With more active and hands on lesson plans, teachers could get more students to participate without threatening a lower grade or call home to parents.

Thankfully, as I'm progressing in my studies, I'm encountering more teachers that strive to present information and promote growth in unconventional and interesting ways. Things like student led learning and multimedia presentations are sparking interest in fields I would never have considered at all worth my time. Unfortunately, the days of hour long lectures and ten page papers are far from over. But hopefully, with some time, students and teachers will be able to work together to create an active and gratifying educational experience for all children.

On Knowledge

             As people, we learn by necessity. The quest for knowledge--for understanding--is a primal and visceral need. Without the yearning to comprehend the world around us, we would have accomplished nothing. If we didn't seek ways to overcome obstacles, what then would differentiate us from common animals? It is at once the key to our survival and the creator of our very humanity. This incredible search for understanding has brought us to where we are today. People argue that knowledge is the proverbial double edged sword, capable of producing great pain and suffering but with the capacity to enlighten the world, to change the very essence of how we as a people understand our lives. This sentiment, however, is essentially flawed. It is the human decision to search for knowledge and then to apply it with the intention to alter the world that changes the course of history. The laws of the universe around us do not change--the Earth would orbit the sun even if we had no idea that it did--and it is only upon discovery that we can even hope to alter them. Personally, I think this a grand idea. That I as a shabby, inconsequential girl can dare to change the world just by perceiving it differently is a strange and awesome byproduct of the human mind.
              It is because of this immense power, that I think it imperative, crucial even, to take the initiative required to learn. It is vital that we take an active part in our own educations not just in school or work, but everywhere we go. The first step to this thinking is to understand how we learn. I previously mentioned that we learn out of necessity, and this I think is true. We force ourselves to understand things because we perceive it as important or because it is required of us. The understanding we achieve from this learning is limited and shallow. It's the kind of knowledge you gain to pass a test then lose the next day. We also learn through experience and connection. Our social behavior, the way we look at the people around us and our systems of societal norms were never explicitly taught to us. These guidelines came gradually through years of strange looks, passing comments and disapproving parents but they nonetheless stick to us until the moment we die. This is a lasting knowledge that shapes the way we do things as simple as eat breakfast to how we consider love or war. The third and last way we learn is a direct result of passion. A pure love for learning that leads us to discover and pursue whatever we think will give us the tools we need to find some kind of enlightenment. This learning is not forced upon us or slowly and stubbornly ingrained into our beings but is instilled upon us from birth. It is elusive and mysterious and horrifyingly powerful. It's the kind of learning that challenges the way we see the things around us and moves us to create, to explore, to change.
              I am proud to say that I have started to learn--to actively search for the subjects that I can delve into simply to indulge this passionate learning--and I have begun to find the knowledge that will move me places I can barely conceive of. I am finding my callings in literature, in service and in history. I do not yet know what use these will have in my future, but I am determined to use the power I gain to change the world. With the simple act of picking up a book, I am preparing myself to make an impact, however small, on the people and ideas of my time. The acquisition of knowledge is scary and rough but it brings with it the hope and determination of all of people that will call our lonely planet home.

Medieval Times

Medieval literature presents a bit of a problem for the traditional romantic such as me for a few different reasons. When a person with my sentiments envisions medieval England, images of heroic knights and damsels in distress threaten to overpower the striking reality that people living in the 1300's had many of the same problems that we have today. They were tired and cranky, passionate and boastful people with all of the intrigues that make life so messy hundreds of years later. It's hard to discard the shining images of castles and gleaming armor and face the fact that life in the middle ages was a dirty, complicated, and let's face it, an ungodly stinky (London didn't develop an effective waste treatment system until the 1600s) time. Visions of a chaste and innocent era are immediately dashed the moment you open some of the works composed in this time period. Ballsy ballads and stories full of sinful twists in plot provide a surprisingly rich experience for the reader.

Once I got past the lyrical language, I found characters that surprised and taught me. Entertaining and educational, I found the works I read (The Canterbury Tales, The Ballad of Robin Hood and the Three Squires and selected lyrics from medieval songs) touched on many of the same issues that press today’s society and provide a unique and helpful interpretation of human nature. Where better to learn the detrimental effects of greed, intrigue, lust and manipulation than in the pages of Chaucer’s masterpiece? Flawed characters and wretched situations provoke thought and cause the reader to question the most basic aspects of human nature.

The selections of medieval literature I read helped me to come to my own understanding of the world and develop my skills as a student and writer. Understanding the antiquated prose took most of my skill as a reader while the analysis of the work challenged me to connect to text far removed from my own time and culture. My time with this literature has benefited me morally and educationally. These limited selections bestowed me with a deep appreciation for the work of the time and the writers that condescended to allow us to learn from their texts. 

The truth as I see it

It has long been known that the truth is anything but universal. It is, I believe, generally accepted that the truth is nearly always twisted and cajoled into one person's limited view of a subject then crammed into their relatively minute world view only to be distributed by countless others who will twist it in their own different ways. What this says with regards to the accuracy or validity of what we conceive of as true is, to be honest, way past my capacity as a lowly and rather ignorant teenager.

I started this post with that rather rambling rant because I think that it is important to make the distinction between my opinions and the truth. As I read great works by greater authors my view of their intended truth will inevitably be skewed by the way I see the world. I can have no way of really knowing what these legends intended when they set their thoughts to ink; all I can to is relate the snippets of meaning that I derive from the passages that they left for us. Whether my musings will even come close to the ‘truth’ I cannot say.

Reading this post, it may seem that my choice for a title was considerably ill chosen. But that is a notion that I reject whole heartedly. This quote taken out of its early nineteenth century context speaks to the generality with which we often speak of the truth. It is also significant in that by posting my thoughts on the works presented to me in class I will be finding my own personal “universal truth” and really, isn't that what we’re all looking for?